Ranting Post

Blogging is not easy to do and for someone like me to be consistent at it.  You need to find something interesting to talk about, or something that bothers you, or something that you want to remember.  Anything that you want expressed.  Only I sometimes find it difficult to express myself.  Time management is an issue for me, too.

I found this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald "You don't write because you want to say something; you write because you have got something to say."  

I do have something to say.  A few things to say and have an opinion on.

The thing that bugs me right this very moment is how easily affected I can be with comments from people, be it friends, colleagues, or my husband.  I get all worked up, irritated and worse still, rant.  Lately there has been spates of incidences whether on any social media platform where friends have shared links on politics, status updates that are politically motivated, religious views, and the list goes on.  I self evaluate and start to compare my seemingly lack of this and that to the righteous ways of others.  Yes, I am suffering from an over abundance of information and opinions where in a social network free world, I would not have given a damn and would lead a quiet simple life, thank you.

Where I have participated in a heated discussion on FB for instance, I sometimes feel a sense of regret in doing so.  Who cares?  Where will these discussions lead to?  Most likely NOWHERE!!!

Lately, the feeling of a lot of things getting to me is becoming more frequent.  Work, kids, energy level, husband, my own expectations on myself, religion amongst others, circles my mind more and more leading to a feeling of wanting to get away from it all......I keep making comparisons to lives of other people, be it office colleagues, friends and get into a thinking spiral that paralyses me.  I need to snap out of this.  Yesterday was a case in example when I broke into tears over MrM's treatment of me and Zarif's non-responsiveness to me.  

Is this a sign of fatigue?  Or is this a sign of needing another break?

Addin Now at 4 years 6 months

Don't grow up too fast Din Din my boy.....

Mama will surely miss you saying "I love you Mama", "Addin Sayang Mama" and your little hands wrapped around my neck at night before going to sleep. 

2013 : A Year in Review Part 3

Weddings, Funerals and Childbirths

The wedding of the year is.......(drumroll please)....nahhhh.....not ZSRCW...

Wedding of MrM's father, my father-in-law.  

The drama leading to the preparation of the wedding, not yet the wedding, mind you!

I fully understand my father-in-law wanting to get married again, what I didn't understand was why this cannot be a simple one.

He is 74, she is 62.  Why can't this be just a solemnization of vows?

The wedding was held at Masjid Shah Alam (I think that has a name) and full-blown with exchange of gifts (hantaran) including money. There are just too many sensitivities surrounding my father-in-law getting married than I care to mention here.  All is well now.

Niece Noreen got married in February.  In London. To this sweet looking boy Shahrin.  Both are doctors now in a hospital in Carlyle and couldn't take the time off.

I was there coincidentally for a meeting, Kak Mong, Kak Yang, Abang, Fieza and Nurul came all the way from KL and Seremban to attend.  Not forgetting Abg Ghazie and Juita, too.  To me it was nice, simple and contained a lot of weirdness that I care not to mention here.  Well, as long as the bride and groom are happy.

From office, there was the wedding of Nabil and Liyana.  And Liyana is now a mother of a two month old, talk about being a fast worker both at work and at home, too!

Nabil's wedding in Seremban Jaya

I think there are more weddings that deserve a mention but they all pale in comparison to my FIL, haha!!

Babies

From the family, we welcomed the addition of two new grandsons, firstborns from Kak Mong's third son, Kamal, and late Ongah's third son, Aloi.

Kamai's baby, Azfar

Aloi's baby, Aiman

2013 has got to be the year of productivity insofar as babies are concerned in FRM.  FRM had 4 baby boys from FRM staff and two more from wives of FRM staff.  One more on the way in May 2014.  There is a positive correlation of having babies to level of stress perhaps?

Ellie's baby, Elias (courtesy of Elliie's whatsapp)

Haslina's baby, Imran Hassan (courtesy of Olie's FB)

Wati's baby Luqman (courtesy of her FB)

Funerals

The news that we heard when we were in NZ was the death of a doctor residing in RK while riding downhill Genting Sempah.  He was apparently a single father and died on the spot.  Three boys lost a father.  I suppose now there shouldn't be any alternating between father's and mother's living arrangements.  

Dr Amir accomoanying Dr Azman's lifeless body (Courtesy of Harian Metro)

Mak Cek's Omak passed on just recently in December.  I had wanted to visit Omak at the hospital or at the very least Mak Cek in Nusa Rhu.  We thought since Mak Cek would be in and out of the hospital, we didn't want to impose.  Especially knowing how Mak Cek would go at great lengths preparing food for her guests.  Omak had asthma.  At almost 80, the asthma took its toll on her heart.  This is two years after Apak died.  

Omak at Hazira's engagement (her granddaughter) looked calm and happy.  This was my last meet with her before she passed away.

Sniffs, Sore Throat, Coughs and Full Blown Asthma

What a start to this new year.  Just the second week of January and I am down with cough with yucky green phlegm and tightness in the chest that is asthma.

I think this started with a sore throat on Wednesday that I dismissed and said this shall pass.  Well I was mistaken.  That sore throat in just a few hours became sneezes that led to a runny nose and bad cough.  I was like, huh?  That fast?  Must be the age factor (poor age factor) again.

I was too tired to go to work on Thursday and the meds given by the panel clinic dried up the runny nose but became a whopping cough!!  

I was off on Friday on account of helping out MrM's brother's kenduri.  I thought I was better, over exerted myself, ate all the wrong food, and by Saturday, this cough had led to a full blown asthma.

Today is Sunday 12th January and I am up to my neck with coughing the entire day.  I am wheezing badly by the standards of my age, which means very low tolerance to coughing and asthma.

In retrospect, this may be due to being caught in the rain a few times the first week of January and even latter part of December 2013.

I need to stay healthy, which means exercise and eating healthy.  But hey, that is another chapter on its own!

Building A Dream : Courtesy of Tripadvisor

2013 : A Year in Review Part 2

Vacations.....aaahhhh.....we loved our vacations.  Topmost in our hearts was New Zealand.  We were there for two whole weeks and we wished we could migrate to NZ.  I was, workwise, swarmed with many things that came into the department's purview throughout the year.  I had taken short breaks locally but they just were not enough.  The much planned trip to NZ was therefore one that all of us were looking forward to.

Much planned since I had booked the MAS tickets in February and started to plan for this trip bit by bit since the day I booked the tickets.

What can I say about NZ?

Beautiful country,  I have said that before and I'll say it again.

A great place to unwind and relax.  (We unwound too much and had difficulty adjusting to work!)

I would advocate anyone to make NZ a must do trip.  We rented a car, stayed at holiday parks, holiday homes and managed to cover North Island this time around.  Primarily driven by the fact that there were 10 of us and we didn't think we will make the entire of a South Island within the two weeks.

Here are the a few sights of NZ North Island :

One of the beaches we discovered wandering aimlessly

The view taken uphill from Thames to Coromandel

Sights of Alexander's Farm the location of Hobbit

I can't remember where this was taken, could be Coromandel

The Blue Lake near Rotorua

The view from Eagle Retreat, our home for four days in Rotorua.

There are more cows and sheeps in NZ than there are people

The view on top after the ride of Wellington tram.

Short getaways :  PD Avillion

This is what Bang Ip and Kakak Lia is there for

Bang Ip the doting brother (thank God for a son like Bang Ip)

Another New Year

Every new year, I aim to improve myself.  This year, will I be able to achieve my improvements? Will 2014 be the year I am going to get it together?  Be organized and able to just do it, without little voices telling me to do what I like as opposed to what I needed to or have to?  A new year full of possibilities.

2013 : The Year In Review Part 1

As usual towards the end of the year, I put on my look back lense and have a recap of the year.  2013 is no different than any other years, living life as consciously as I can in this hustle and hurry world.  I am grateful I made it so far and being blessed with what God has bestowed on me.  A loving husband, healthy kids, comfortable life, a healthy body, a job that I like doing, a boss that I can look up to, and the list goes on.....

I can't possibly remember everything that has happened but as I write, I hope my memory will be triggered by the events of the year past.

My Kids

Munirah

Munirah started her first year post foundation in MMU in June.  She finally decided to pursue the Cinematic Arts Program (CAP) a collaborative effort between MMU and USC, Los Angeles.  This year she will study in Cyberjaya, after which she will continue at MMU Johor.  She was hesitant about this program and begged me to send her to the UK to study fine arts or graphics.  After checking a few programs in both the UK and the US and rough calculation of its costs, we persuaded her to stay in MMU.  (We do have three other kids to think about insofar as tertiary education goes)  We figured that it would be cheaper if we sent her for summer programs in design and art as part of her exposure than three or four years towards a degree!  

Cheapskate parents.  No, realistic parents.  And I have not found the seeds of the money tree yet.

So far so good, although there are occasions when she texted me and start going "Maaaaaaa.....Maaaaa......people here are sooo negative.  I don't want to continue!!" And just hours later when I called her and asked how she was "I am okay now Ma..".  What the?  

Fast forward to November.  She had a stint filming a music video for a budding artist through ASTRO.  Munirah's friend enrolled in the same program has a stepmother working in ASTRO.  There apparently is another offer in the cards for her and her friend and this time in Paris. Hmmm.....we just have to see about that.

Zarif

Ahhhhh.....this son of mine.....does not say much, does not like to be told off.  What is new?  In fact truth be told the first three, when being lectured, have learnt the art of "defensive answering your parents".  Famous lines "apa hal Mama ni?" Sigh.  They are good kids, I tell myself.  Just imagine them when they were babies and they really clung to you.  Now it is just "I need money Ma..."

Back to Zarif.

I was happy that he chose to be part of the NS cycling team as what they call "pelapis".  He became enthused with this new sport and we allowed him to cycle to a nearby housing estate where the cyclists and coach meet.  I thought that cycling would be good discipline for Zarif, although I sensed that cycling became a priority than his studying.  He joined the team for cycling training trips to PD and was part of the cycling race in Cheras, KL.  All was well.....until....he told MrM that the F5 seniors were bullying him during cycling trips.  Playing the fool showing prowess as they cycle by the roadside.  Zarif wanted to quit.  He did quit.  MrM rationalized that fooling around by the roadside will be dangerous.  Knowing how much Zarif had put his heart into cycling, I trust him.  I was a tad worried that this was an excuse to give up.  Boredom.  Let's just leave it at that.  

PMR came and went.  Sufficient to say, by Malaysian standards, Zarif didn't fare too well.  By Mama's standards?  There is always looking forward to improving oneself, that includes you, my son!

Aliah

My rebellious daughter.  I think Aliah is just competitive AND rebellious.  What can I say to her without her mumbling and stomping into her room.

Now if only we can make her competitive when it comes to school.  She is competitive with her siblings.  When it comes to food.  When it comes to winning an argument.  

Aliah is in secondary school this year.  A year of adjusting.  Aliah does not have a lot of friends like Munirah or Zarif.  I can count her really good friends.  Two or three perhaps.  There is Naili, Farhanah the girl down the street of RK3/30 and then there is Izabelle.  So far I know only these three girls.

I know Aliah struggled with school this year.  Finding her footing in a new environment.  Being bullied by a bunch of boys whose aim is to scare and undermine her.  She retaliated by drawing "devil" sketches on their photos on FB.  I scolded her.  Asked her to delete the photos one by one.

But the boys continued.  Waits for her in corners where she has to pass by.  Threw stones at her while she is in the schoolbus.  What kind of kids are these?!!!  The ultimate was when she had to hide to avoid these boys.  I went to see Cikgu Hasnan that very night.  Reprimanded if the school is not doing anything, I will not hesitate to report these boys to the police.  I told Aliah to name all these boys.  Cikgu Hasnan told me not to worry, he knew how to handle these boys.  I waited for the next week for Cikgu Hasnan to update me.  

He did.  He rounded up all these boys together with Cikgu HEM and threatened to involve their parents if they didn't stop.

I asked Aliah if these boys still did what they did.  She said that has stopped.  Alhamdulillah.  I feared if there would be a backlash outside school.  There hasn't.

Aliah is the most helpful child amongst all, Din Din not included.  She is the only one that wants to go to the monthly dry groceries with me and MrM.  She will arrange stuff in the grocery cart and help with packing groceries at the cashier.  Especially since most of the time we will use reusable bags.  She knows how to organize the groceries we bought.  She helps me at the wet market, too.  Takes the basket, carries them while waiting for me to choose veggies, potatoes, onions, etc.  Carries the groceries back into the car.  All of them.  I get to carry the light ones.  

Fast forward December.  We decided to send Aliah to SuperCamp.  This year SuperCamp Malaysia was held at Nexus International School, Putrajaya.  Both MrM and I thought SuperCamp would do Aliah a lot of good in raising her self-esteem, confidence and knowing that she can do anything.  Plus the learning program during SuperCamp focuses on making learning easier.  I can see (through SuperCamp Malaysia FB) that she enjoyed herself immensely.

Coming back, she is pretty much the same.  Except I noticed that she argues less with Zarif and Munirah.  A lot less!  And she listens to me more.  She sent us a postcard when she was at SuperCamp.  SuperCamp plays with your emotions, Aliah....so Munirah said.  But emotions appreciating your parents, I thought, are good emotions to trigger and have.  Well....SuperCamp alone will not change Aliah.  I certainly hope at the very least, at the very, very least.....she is more assured of her capabilities and what she can achieve in life.

Din Din (Harith Danish, of course)

Din Din (my pet name for him) entered kindergarten this year.  We enrolled him into Genius Aulad, an Islamic based kindy.  I took leave for his first day of kindy.  Sent him to school.  Sent him to his class.  Met his teacher.  Aaahhhh.....how it breaks my heart to see him so confident and happy going to school.  My pregger-at-42 son looked so grown up and mature.  I was the immature one bawling my eyes out.  He didn't need me at all.  He reminded me of myself, just going along with Pak Husin to send me to Nora's Kindy at Jalan Kilat moons ago.  No need for Mak or Abah at all.

He said "bye Ma" and that was that.  So much for taking leave.  (By the way, I sensed I was the "older" parent amongst other parents.  Most we're sending their first borns or perhaps second and looked much younger....*feel old*)

Three months into school Din Din could recite Al Fatihah, doa makan, doa tidur, doa masuk kenderaan. Six months he could recite doa bangun pagi and a few more.  A year of Genius Aulad, he would reprimand you for not finishing your food else Allah will be angry.  

Din Din is so sure of himself.  It may be due to most times interacting with older brother and sisters.  And also the maids.  Of course, as a mother, I would like to think that this is an innate part of him.  One of the 23 chromosomes he inherited from either me of MrM.  (Is that right, 23 chromosomes?*passedBioforSPMonly*)

I only wish that he would not grow up so fast.  2013 is the year of "Addin sayaaang Mama" "I love you Mama" and the only one to happily greet us when we return from office.  He is four only once.  And then five in 2014.  I should look forward to him turning 5.  Instead I want him to stay four forever *melancholicmoods".

I am proud of what my kids have achieved, this year or in their lives.  They are growing, learning and thriving.  My prayer for them is that they turn out all right, become good Muslims and good citizens.

Here are some photos of this year :

Addin's first day in Genius Aulad uniform 

Addin in front of his class 

Addin given Legos to play while his classmates cry ( I should be relieved)

Aliah at SuperCamp

Practicing for final day

What on earth are they doing?

Having tea with Zarif post one of his PMR papers

Aliah turns 13

Zarif turns 15!

Kakak Munirah's selfie with Din Din

Addin's Airport Runway

Addin has been sooooo fascinated with any form of aviation machines i.e. airplanes.  We have bought him numerous versions and they hail from Australia, New Zealand, ToysRUs in KL, a store near Garden Homes in S2 and the best ones are.......(drum roll) from Nilai 3!!

And what would all these airplanes be without a runway and a place to park his planes right?

After incessant whining by Addin to get him what he calls "airport" (and I have no idea where you can get one!), last Sunday I took out the roll of cardboard stock I had for emergency art needs, asked Munirah to "draw" Addin his "airport".  Two manila cardboards, Munirah's free markers from Staedtler, and voila!  Simple efforts to make a little boy happy!  (And saved me from having to make futile trips to AEON!!