Just Us

After planning for a good one month at least, Saturday 30th January 2010 became a reality.  A gathering to commemorate our 31st Anniversary of sisterhood, camaraderie and friendship.  It is just that sisterhood may seem so inappropriate now that we are or will be 44 this year (yes InaMus and Ashie being the last to turn 44 and mine in October seems moons away).

Get-together like this leaves you with a glow that only we understand.  A sense of euphoria. Adrenalin rush.  I must admit that for me, after meeting these friends from school, listening to different perspectives in lives, gives me the push I need to continue, especially where work is concerned.  Gives me the push to continue working for myself, for my kids and just to appreciate the things that we have to go through to make a living and living a life.  So thank you girls.....you mean more to me than you think you do......

And then there was one who didn't even know I had a baby....poor Farid Hashim, her look was priceless.  "Didn't you have backpain? coz at 36 when I had my youngest I had backpain so unbearable I cried"  Of course, I did have backpain, tolerable though as long as I don't walk long distances.  Yeah Harith was the center of all these aunties who as Ogee said "I can coo, play and carry Harith, but when it comes to diaper changing and all, Mommy has to own it!!" Oh yes Ogee Mommy is owning it through the hired help aka Bibik Ana.....hee hee!

Apple pie from MasJoe

Cheese tarts from InaMus

Splendid food

Rojak Buah Leha Muslan

Secret Recipe cake agaknya from Anawar

Tukang goreng kuey teow and  and bakar satay

Chocolate cake Liza Bakar

Plenty of food to go around, my diet which has been not much of a diet, just went out of the window that day....so take a look at the food and enjoy!

Friendship Through Thick and Thin

I have been blessed with good friends, from childhood, MRSM days, university (I married one) and now work.  These friends have made me laugh to stitches, provided me hope, taught me wisdom, lend an ear, share a predicament, talk nonsense, above all this is the respect we have for each other and the support we extend to each other.

So dear friends, thank you for being more of a friend to me than I have ever been one to anyone of you.  Thank you for understanding.  Thank you for listening.  Thank you for being there for me.  I am eternally grateful to all that you have done, whether consciously or not.

Pregnant with Harith and Having Harith

During dinner this evening, there was this program on Discovery Home and Health on babies, I wasn't sure whether the program was The Baby Story or Deliver Me but on delivery and babies, nonetheless.

When pregnant with Harith, MrM and my kids just had to tolerate me watching Deliver Me, Amazing Babies, BabyStory or just any program on mommies about to deliver babies and the actual delivery itself.  Aliah remembered that I used to want to watch those programs and I remembered how emotional I was then when the baby is born to this person on TV and tears started to roll down my cheeks for this unexplainable feeling I have watching a stranger having a baby.  I wanted to be emotional and I wanted to cry.  I think in retrospect it was the anxiety I had having a baby at this age, and watching these programs allowed me to prepare myself for the delivery on 6 July 2009 and at least made me a bit saner to live with.

Harith is almost 7 months now. How fast time flies.  I am trying to enjoy him as much as I can within the constraints of a working mom.  He loves to "cat talk" with MrM, "cat talk" because when he rambles on, he sounds like a cat on a prowl.....He loves to snuggle up to me, pull my hair (and yes I have lost a lot of hair) and laughs out loud when I press his stomach with my head.  Talk about de-stressing after a day's work, Harith is a good provider of that....

Having Harith I would like to surmise has definitely brought us closer to the first three kids.  Both of us are busy with work, the first three are growing up and having different needs at different stages of their years, we were a family but we were like a quickie family.  A quick hug, a quick asking what they need, everything had to be done fast before I forget and just getting by with looking at their needs in terms of school, extra-curricular activities, etc etc.

With Harith around, we pause to enjoy him and because all three enjoy holding him, in a way, that forces us to enjoy them at their respective ages as well.  Perhaps I am older now and want to take a different perspective to life, work and family.  But I believe, Harith is a trigger factor. 

I don't know why I have to post this entry and perhaps it is not coming out the way I want it to but you catch the drift, I hope.

My gratitude, Alhamdulillah, counting my blessings despite my grievances (and whining) and trying to live to the Power of Now.  Now, not of the past and not of the future.  Now.

What else is new

It has been a stressful and tiring past two weeks, to say the least.  Since the start of this year and we are only three weeks into 2010, it has been a whirlwind of activities.....both work and at home.  Scheduling kids tuition, and now that Aliah has joined this bandwagon of needing tuition, I have difficulty remembering what tuition on what day and for whom.  Yeah, I should type out the schedule and print it out, both for kids and driver, and keep forgetting to do that.  Harith is still waking up two or three times a night and with MrM, there has not been any concept of taking turns whatsoever! 

There are still a few things outstanding, Munirah's school fees, Zarif's UPSR school conducted extra classes to include in my calendar, finding Bio, Chemistry and Physics tuition for Munirah, registering both Aliah and Zarif for swimming classes and those are all I can remember for now. 

And I don't even know where to begin where work is concerned.  This new reporting line to VP is the reason for my stress.  The expectations of FRM in general and my stewardship, in particular is foremost in my mind.  Too many things, too little time and energy.  I am grateful that my direct reports are very capable and have been supportive of the multitude of tasks and assignments that I have asked them to do.  But it is just too many and organization is key.  And key to that is the fact that I have not been very organized like I used to.  Which makes me feel I don't have control over the things that I need to do and that stresses me big time.  I am in meetings and meetings and find it difficult to concentrate when at the back of my mind I need to review reports and proposals, and sometimes I do that in meetings.

Stewardship is hard to do.  You have to be technically savvy, digest new things quickly and know what the end game looks like to provide direction.  You have to manage staff motivation and yet be able to call a spade a spade.  You have to be firm and assertive, especially faced with many behavioral challenges. 

Then there are HR related things to follow through, staff mobility and career progression, leadership feedback, year end appraisals, capability rulers, recruitment, and the list continues. 

Don't get me wrong.  I have always maintained that I love what I do and it has always provided me the challenge of learning new things and organizational developments that in my current capacity I will be able to make a meaningful contribution.  So what, then? 

It is just the tug-of-war in balancing family and work.  I have not been successful at all in switching off work stuff when I am at home.  Still thinking of work when I reach home and sometimes continue to do work after all have gone to sleep.  And even though I keep saying that this has to stop, it has never stopped.

And today, all the stress and tiredness have caught up with me and I am down with flu, cough and a very heavy headache.  I decided to just take medical leave today, despite my best intentions to go to work despite not feeling well.  Which means, whatever was scheduled today, will be fitted somewhere in my calendar next week, which means another vicious cycle of having too many things to do in a day.

On a more positive note, I am looking forward to 30th Jan gathering of friends from school at my place.  I am happy to get my tote bags purchased from eBay and gave one to my assistant.  And I am so looking forward to my Bath and Body Works stuff from eBay.  Call it whatever you want, but all this keeps my sanity in check......

A Trip to Kuala Pilah and weekend activities

MrM has always aspired to have a gazebo and a water feature at the meagre piece of land we call our garden.  He has been planning to go to Pilah many times and debated between going to work or making his dreams come true.  Me?  I am not really for it at this time when economic scenario in 2010 is so uncertain and a gazebo and water feature do not come cheap.

We also wanted to try out the new highway to Ulu Bendol.  No more winding road, people! Nice straight, double lane (one way) highway that brings you to Ulu Bendol from Paroi in a matter of 3 minutes.  We timed ourselves, so believe it.  Will it give Kuala Pilah a new lease of life?  Time will tell but right now, I don't think so.  But makes those who want to balik kampung during Raya breathe a sigh of relief.....

The name of the place where they make pergolas, wakafs and gazebos is Sri Pilah something.  They make and also provide landscaping services, including building of water features or any combination thereof.

After meeting Hazim, who also has a bundle shop as a hobby, he agreed to come to our house at 3pm and we were off to Pilah without anywhere specific to go.  It was already 11am and it is a matter of time before MrM's stomach would be grumbling......So here goes the story in photos...

Stopped at the Bus Stand Cendol, a must for anyone heading to Pilah onwards

This very guy has been in business since I was in primary school. This very guy!  He has gone to Haj selling cendol....

Photo of the current YamTuan, banner used for the Istiadat Pertabalan as seen in picture, that was last October..

Stopped at Kg Warisan opposite the turn to Sri Menanti.  I think it is meant to be an arts and craft center but there was only this batik shop open and a lady was occupying her time with batik painting

Close-up of her painting.  Looks easy but I am sure I, the one with no artistic talent at all, will not be able to do this!

Some of ready cotton batik for sale

One used as the decor of her shoppe

Pretty in pink, they are actually very nice, but hey I still have material I have not made into baju!

This place is actually huge and comes with an equally huge restaurant.  Tengoklah kereta yang sampai tu no less than BMW 7 series!

Restoran Warisan, opens from 12pm to 1am, sells Thai food and authentic Negri food at a premium...we went for Thai food, after all we are Negri folks and know better places to go to.  They have cultural shows every night.  I think there isn't enough marketing done on this place.  Hey if we didn't venture to this area we wouldn't have known.  The entire area actually is owned by Yayasan Negri Sembilan.

Wood carvings everywhere

View of paddy fields from the restaurant

Isn't it peaceful?

But a townie like me hari2 tengok ni buleh pening kepala babe!

Sunday 17th January is the start of Zarif's Science tuition in Paroi, at the recommendation of a friend.  The tuition is held at Pusat Sukan Negri, Paroi. After sending him we were off to our usual routine Sunday morning, wet market shopping.  Today we went to Pasar Tani Paroi.

After sending all the stuff we bought home, we headed back to Paroi to pick Zarif up at 10:30am.  Zarif likes the teacher and her methods!  Senang faham katanya.....

There were takraw games played by several teams in the Kompleks Sukan and since none of them have seen how sepak takraw is played, we stopped by to watch a few games (with Harith lagi!)

Harith still sleepy but sweating profusely

That sums up our weekend....tiring but interesting.  And now my work beckons.....

Fancy This!

I have my own signature!

My Next Move

What and where will my next move be?

That is the question.

Is money more important than a position where I will be challenged to make a difference?  Can I make that difference?

What does my heart say?

These are questions that I have been asking myself that I don't have answers to.  The reason is I am not sure what I want in life and career.  The reason is there is this little voice in me that casts such high expectations that it becomes a liability to me.

New Year, Old Me

Wow...it has been two months that I have not updated my blog.  What can I say?  Too busy reading other blogs and setting up my new blog, too.  And too many things going on, what with my eldest getting her PMR results, sending Zarif to camp, trip to Low Yatt Plaza, gathering with friends, weddings, getting ready for school, arranging tuition classes, getting new closets/cabinets for kids and maids rooms and the list just goes on and on....

I have not made any new resolutions this year when I have not even fulfilled my resolutions of yesteryears, ha ha!  Therefore this year, my mantra is love much, laugh hard and live life.....yeah, yeah....sounds corny eh....but that's it! simply said......

Here are snapshots of what's been going on.....

Sending Zarif off to camp

Harith in the arms of Abang Ip

Father daughter bonding on choice of DSLR

Kakak Ya and Harith prior to his  jab

 

The ever so doting Papa and the center of our lives now

Abra in Dubai

Dawn on our last day

Wild Wadi

Refresher for rusty brains

KT Airport

A sense of euphoria whenever we meet

An outing with the girls - KLCC then Alamanda

Ellie looking resplendent in her wedding gown

And Darling looking every bit of himself

Zarif in his DJungle t-shirt after So You Think I am a Kid camp