Cocktail of Emotions Part 2

It is good to keep up with the goings-on in friends' lives. My school mates from MRSM days have been meeting up every chance they get since our reunion on July 4th, and many times before for those in the reunion organizing committee. I managed to join them on the 40th day of my confinement for a lunch meet at a hotel before fasting month. And again during lunch at KLCC just a couple of weeks ago. To me, this friendship has matured to a level where we accept our differences and learn from each others' life journeys. There was another meet at MidValley Gardens as well as Raya gatherings here and there, evident from the photos in Facebook. It makes me happy to see those photos of old friends catching up with each other and enjoying each other's company.

Which brings me to the point of this entry. Yesterday, my room-mate from my US days and her husband (also from the same university) came and we were catching up on friends from that part of my life. I asked about this guy, whom I shall call, MrF, how he was doing and all, and that's when this friend of mine told me that his wife passed away last year.

I don't know MrF's wife personally, but I know of her. The reason she died was in trying to give birth to their second child. She had fits during labor that apparently was caused by a bleeding placenta that lasted for 2 hours before she died. Both of them are the same age as me, their first child is 9 years old and she had difficulty conceiving. I can imagine how they were looking forward to having this one and the sadness of losing his wife and the unborn baby.

MrF's wife, is from NS, and the reason I say I know of her is because she shares my birthdate, 9th October 1966. She is the daughter of TBT (abbreviated Tunku B T) and my mother tells me that as she was in labor pains about to deliver me, the late mother to MrF's wife went in first to deliver her and then only my mother went in to deliver me and therefore the same birthdate.

I was shocked and sad. Sad for MrF. MrF as I remember him is a person who cracks jokes and makes you laugh all the time. That was just last year. She was 41 then. And I started thinking that when I became pregnant with Harith, all I thought of was at the end of this process (of morning sickness, backpain and sleepless nights) I hope to have a healthy baby and to enjoy having a little one after all these years. They had that expectations too. And to be struck with that loss, I can't even begin to imagine how MrF is moving on with his life.

That that could have happened to me. Makna berserah dan bertawakkal means so much to me when I think of that day on 6th July as I was prepped for the C-section. Anything could have happened during that surgery. Anything could have happened after the surgery, especially when I had nausea and dizziness from both the after effects of spinal block and pain-killers. I thought of my fears then, and if anything were to happen to me, my last thoughts would be my kids and what I have or have not done for them as a mother.

I am so grateful that not only that the surgery went well, my recovery after the C-section was surprisingly good and more importantly, having a healthy baby boy who brings so much joy (yes, despite the sleepless nights) in our lives. Abang Ip, Kakak Aliah and Kakak Munirah loves baby Harith and fight over who gets to hold him. The first thing Harith does as I greet him while he is still in his cot at 5am is to give me a smile, as though he is so happy to see his mother's face. And I would like to think that he is indeed happy to see me.

She died on 28.08.2008. I only found out about it yesterday, 17.10.2009. If I didn't meet Miza and Ian yesterday, I wouldn't have known. Chances are if I met MrF (working in the banking industry) and not knowing what had happened, I would have asked about his wife and kids. Imagine if that happened.

I must make a point to meet up with friends from the many facets of my life more often.