Becoming What I am Meant to Be - The Discovery 2

This is perhaps the last of the discovery series of trying to find my true self.  It is about my schooling years in MRSM.  When we first entered MARA Junior Science College in 1979, school was without uniform at least for the first semester i.e. 6 months until MARA introduced uniforms in three different color codes.  Cream shirt with dark brown skirt or pants, light blue and dark blue and the most ghastly color combination was light green and grey.  Don't ask me why, I hated the green and grey combination.

MRSM those days (and not to be compared to MRSM of current day) taught us rules but we were so free-spirited that rules were just rules that had to be obeyed.  Rules didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves.  What comes immediately to my mind is the basketball games, taking photos in sweaters and pretend that we are abroad, maggi mee groups after lights off, watching free mason from D14, making a cup of Nescafe with cold water, sneaking at seniors' room before sahur and making noise with mercun tarik, band practice in the music room, the glee of listening to Cikgu Juriah scolding the next door class (juniors usually) for making noise while she taught, bathing at the room balcony with only one pail of water, fights, crushes, admiring cute guys from afar (the late Mustaza, Rahim Thani amongst them) and the list goes on and on.

MRSM life shaped me into what I am in many ways than I realized.  I think if I had gone to TKC I would have turned out differently.  At work, I almost always will take a break from the seriousness of the discussion and talk about something that I read in the newspapers that morning or just something humorous to break the monotony of the discussion.  News of a colleague's plight, be it struck with a debilitating or fatal disease, having a child with special needs, involved in an accident makes me feel that anytime I could also be in their shoes and pause to reflect, esp. with my immediate reports.  Doesn't bode too well when you need to be objective and move on, despite all that.  I can't be in a meeting the entire day from morning to evening without taking a break and go out of office for lunch.  I hate having lunch in the office unless it is a working lunch and I rarely have work lunch.  I like structure and yet want to be creative within the structure of whatever I am working on, ALM, Compliance, Approach and Methods.....and finally, I hate to be nice when everyone wants to be nice.  I get into trouble a lot just by that last statement.

That is just the way I am.  It is part my DNA and part my upbringing, of which MRSM life was a significant contributor.  This realization actually helps me channel my character into how I can be effective the most, without antagonizing other people and yet deliver results.

But then again.....

could I be better in an environment where I have flexibility in how and when I choose to work and yet deliver based on pre-determined targets?

could I be creative and generate more ideas when I am not constrained by time?

Flexibility and Creativity.