Becoming What I am Meant to Be - The Discovery 1

I remember one night at the dinner table at home when I was 12.  My late father asked me, what do I want to be when I grow up?  I was into writing at that time, and was very proud that my class teacher picked my English essay to be read in front of the class.  Mind you, during primary school I might as well not have existed.  I was not a prefect, and neither was I top of the class.  At least I was in the first class, 6 Yellow, but I paled in comparison to Aina Mariana (who went on the become Headgirl at TKC, best student and now a paediatrician in Seremban), Carol Tan, June Loh, and the whole lot of them that seemed to have it all to am impressionable 12 year old like me. And by that I meant brains, nice school bags, active in all sorts of activities etc.  Therefore, when Mrs Kong picked my essay titled "What I Will Do If I Had One Million Dollars" amongst those whom I thought would have written better essays than me, my little heart almost burst with pride.

Back to my late Abah's question.  Of course, without batting an eyelid, I told him that I wanted to be a writer.  My father frowned and said "but writers do not make money!! choose something else!"  Again just a year before that I wanted to become an astronaut.  As though that made money.  Although Dr SMS seems to be faring well after going to the moon and back.  So I told him, "errr.....a lawyer I shall be then Abah" and he seemed satisfied with the answer.  My father, for whatever reasons, hoped that his youngest daughter would reach her potential by being a professional, and in 1978, to him that would be a lawyer, an engineer or an accountant.

I never became a writer.  I certainly did not become an astronaut.  I thought I would have been good as a lawyer but I did not become one either.  At that tender age (perhaps not so tender) of 12, I thought my passion was writing.  I was inspired by that little recognition by my Year 6 class teacher who felt that I wrote a simple, straight-to-the point essay, in simple English and had it read to the class, including to the likes of Aina Mariana, Carol Tan, June Loh and all those I can't remember their names now.  Which lead me into thinking that I can be good at this.

Never in my aspirations anywhere, even after SPM, that I imagined to be a Risk Manager.  And to be a certified FRM. I love what I do in this organization and the satisfaction of contributing to a risk-based decision-making.

But......

I sometimes wonder if I had pursued what seemed like some passion to that 12 year old girl, what I could have become.  Would I be into journalism, report news, or would I even have my own book, by now, or would I become a notorious blogger? 

Passion.  Believe.  Pride.