Emotions Running Wild Part 1

What am I about to write started with the 8th January meeting attended by all of us siblings in coming to an agreement about the duties and expenses required to cater to our mother's well-being.

In retrospect, perhaps this started as early as Mak's diagnosis of Stage 4 liver cancer in October last year.

My sister, Kak Cik, decided to send a string of e-mails that triggered the worst in all of us.  If not all of us, at least me.

Let me begin with the e-mails.

I was the one documenting what was discussed in the 8th January meeting and had only managed to send the minutes of meeting almost a week later.

This is what I wrote in my mail sent out to my brother Ghazie and three sisters.

The attached Excel file tabulates the expenses for Mak's comfort and the agreed action items.

I apologize for not sending this sooner.  

On the new maid front, Mak Cik Timah is waiting for the copy of the passport and medical report from Indonesia, both of which are required to process the application under Kak Yang's name.  It takes about three days for Immigration to process for approval.  With the approval then it takes about a day or two to get the maid intoMalaysia.

Therefore, looks like the maid will not be in time by the time Sumarni leaves for Indonesia.

The nurses will be on 24 hour basis starting 20th as we had discussed.  The issue of cleaning and food I can get my maid to come say on Saturday just to do household cleaning but on the day-to-day basis any suggestions?

I was given charge to talk to the agent, a friend of my mother's, about getting another maid due to the fact that Sumarni, my mother's current maid had gone back to Indonesia for a month.  The rationale being, what with Mak the way she is right now and household to take care of, we would just pay to take in another maid and if Sumarni returned to work again, we would just have to bear the expenses of another maid and there was still plenty to do given the size of my mother's house in Paroi.

Now to that mail, Kak Cik replied :
Dear all wassalaam,

Firstly thank you Dila for taking the trouble to send us a breakdown of Expenses to date.

I have gone through the Expenses and if I may, I would like to add my two sens worth.

May I point out a few pertinent points after examining estimates of past expenses and, what I feel would be required in the future.

A) MAJOR EXPENSES TO DATE

i)  Hospital bills : 

16/10 - 20/10 =  RM 7,720.00

13/11 - 16/11 =  RM 4,020.00

19/12 - 22/12 =  RM 4,372.00

                        -------------------

Total             =  RM16,112.50

ii)  Hospital Bed =  RM2,721.00 

     (includes transport)

iii)  Ripple Mattress  =  RM499.00

iv)  New Maid - fees  = RM7,135.00

TOTAL EXPENSES TO DATE: RM29,347.50

B)  CURRENT AND FUTURE RECURRENT EXPENDITURE.

Mak's Daily Needs:

i)  Nurse @ RM240/day  =  RM7,200.00

ii)  Diapers @ RM37/pack x 15 =  RM550.00

iii) Cotton wool @ RM5.50/roll x 6 =  RM50.00

iv)  Incontinence Sheets RM15/pack x 6 =  RM90.00

v) Kitchen Roll/Facial Tissues, Surgical Gloves, Body Wash and Lotion etc =  RM100.00

Household Expenditure:

vi) Groceries (including cat litter and food) AND Marketing =  RM1,200.00

vii) Utilities (Mak's & Akim's) =  RM400.00

viii) Maid salary  =  RM550.00

ix)  Contingency (transport 'n such) =  RM300.00

MONTHLY HOUSEHOLD EXPENDITURE  = RM10,435.00

C) CASH CONTRIBUTIONS TO DATE:

i)  Lutfiah :  RM8,300.00

ii) Ghazie :  RM8,300.00

iii) Cha  :     RM6,800.00 

iv)  Adila  :   RM8,300.00

(NB: If I have missed out on any other individual contribution, please add to above)

D)  PLANNING FOR THE COMING MONTHS/FUTURE.

i)  Available Reserves/Fund (ASB + ASN)  =  RMXXX,XXX.00

ii) Monthly Contribution required for Mak and Household Expenses:

   Estimate :  RM2,608.75 per person per month.  (i.e. RM10,435.00 divided by 4)

(Note:  Payne and I will do our part to contribute)

E) ISSUES

i)  Usage of available Reserve/Fund.(RMXXXXXXX.00)

ii) Creation of a Sinking Fund (To pay for Mak's and Household monthlyneeds)

iii)  Who will keep track of expenses and Accounts?

iv)  Who will have access and disburse the Fund.

v)  Akim's Welfare - VERY IMPORTANT!

I hope the above will form a sensible and transparent guideline for our consideration adik-beradik.

"The aim of argument, (if any) or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress"

Note:

December '10 : paid Nurse Fees RM600.00

January '11 :  paid Nurse Fees RM2,280.00

Your lovely and loving sister,

Cha/Kak Chik.

Now seems harmless enough right?  Just tabulating the expenses and the contribution to date by each and every one of us.  Note the groceries expenses of RM1,200.00 a month.  My household, with 4 adults, 4 kids eating everyday, comes to RM1,200.00 a month.   

Continued in Part 2